


Melancholia

by WhisperingSkies



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Blackwatch Era, Fluff, Jesse has a bit of mental illness, M/M, Short Stories, There will be some pieces framed in deadlock / present day, lots of feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-26
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-19 22:49:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11907831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperingSkies/pseuds/WhisperingSkies
Summary: A series of short pieces detailing the complicated relationship between Gabriel Reyes and Jesse McCree.





	1. Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all, I hope you enjoy. A good song to listen to whilst reading this piece would be 'Coyotes,' by Modest Mouse. This will be updated randomly with no schedule, just whenever I'm struck with inspiration.

The night is cold, for once, and Jesse appreciates it. He’s sick of being reminded of New Mexico with every humidity-choked breath, refusing to shut his window despite the promise of crisp air conditioning if he does. Maybe he keeps it open to punish himself. He doesn’t know if he’s even trying to get better anymore. 

Memories are like broken records, Jesse realizes, taking pleasure in the shiver that washes over his skin like a tidal wave. He’s gone a step further to appreciate the chill; rather than idly lounging near an open window, he’s ended up on the roof of the facility, somewhere above his room. 

It still feels like a lie to say anything is his, despite the months of constant reassurance. 

A cigarette is poised like a paintbrush in-between his fingers. Overwatch discourages smoking among their soldiers, but Jesse isn’t a part of Overwatch, not really. He’s been here long enough to know that. 

He exhales a breath full of smoky addiction, letting the vapor waltz amongst the midnight air. 

“What are you doing, McCree?”

The voice is simple to recognize, being one Jesse hears every day. He suddenly regrets not bringing a sweatshirt, not giving himself anything to hide behind or burrow into. 

_'What’s it look like I’m doing, idiot,’_ would be his answer to anyone else- anyone but Gabriel. 

“Relaxing,” he chokes out instead. A presence can now be felt to his right, the man giving a little grunt as he seats himself next to the younger agent. In a flash, Jesse extinguishes the cigarette, chucking it in a way he hopes is discreetly off the roof into the liquid blackness around them. 

“I saw that,” Gabe says. 

_Damnit_. 

“If you were anybody else I’d make you hop your ass off this roof and go find it.”  
A small chuckle follows. 

Jesse pouts, scrunching his face up like a rebellious child. 

“Saw that too.” 

“How in the hell-” Jesse balks, eyes widening. 

“Wild guess, pendejo. You don’t give me enough credit.” 

He can hear Gabriel shifting, settling more deeply into his position. The two are silent for a few minutes; Jesse wishes he could hear his commander’s thoughts. 

Gabe speaks first. “What’s the point of coming out here if you can’t even see the stars?” 

Feeling an out-of-place mosquito at his cheek, Jesse slaps it away, taking his time to answer. 

“Dunno. It’s quiet.” 

The real reason is much more private, a well-guarded secret kept even from Gabe.

They go silent again, making Jesse yearn for the return of his commander’s rough voice. His thoughts get to him much too easily in the silence.

“You cold?” 

The cowboy whips his head to the side, eyes settling on the vague form of Gabriel in the darkness. He’s closer than Jesse had originally assumed. 

“Nah,” he lies, scuffing his boot against the rooftop. 

“Bullshit.” 

Gabe’s accusation fades into another bout of silence. 

It feels like the world stops when a comforting arm snakes around his shoulders, pulling the young agent into his commander’s chest. He inhales sharply, startled, but as the warmth cocoons him, Jesse relaxes. Tears well in his eyes and he blinks them away, not wanting Gabe to think even less of him than he already must. Even still, a damp spot begins to appear on the thick fabric of the man’s ever-present hoodie. He must notice, because a moment later one of the arms around Jesse’s nearly-shivering body shifts, allowing Gabe’s hand to rest gently on the cowboy’s lower back. 

“No llores, Jessito. Por que?” The soothing chocolatey tones of Gabriel speaking Spanish have always calmed Jesse, something his commander evidently knows. 

“Why am I here?” Jesse doesn’t mean it as harshly as it comes out. 

Gabriel takes a moment to answer; when he does, his voice cracks with emotion like a dropped plate. 

“You’re here because I want you here. That won’t change.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment for prompts you'd like to see in this series! Translations -- 
> 
> Pendejo = idiot / dummy
> 
> No llores = no tears
> 
> Por que = why
> 
> Jessito = term of affection; adding 'ito/ita' to a name usually means "little,' ie. 'Little Jesse'


	2. Warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry these chapters are so short! Leave any requests/prompts for new chapters in the comments :)  
> The recommended song for this chapter is 'What You Know' by Two Door Cinema Club. Enjoy!!

He can’t believe this is happening again. It’s the third time this week he’s waking alone, struggling to push the hazy veil of sleep from his mind. The blankets provide a false sense of comfort, an insufficient substitute for Gabriel’s warm arms. 

There’s nothing out of the ordinary about him sleeping in solitary, Blackwatch agents each have their own quarters; the problem lies in the differences between reality and his imagination. 

A glance at the bedside clock reveals to him that this is, in fact, happening again. He still has hours before he needs to be awake. Frustration curls in his chest- angry at himself, angry at the world, angry at his inability to sleep through the dreams of Gabe holding him close.

Jesse rolls away from the glaring LED of the clock, falsely blaming it for his sleepless nights. 

\-- 

The minutes drag by, every breath resembling an eternity. He peeks over his shoulder towards the glowing numbers, groaning aloud as it becomes clear he’s only been lying there for a quarter of an hour. It feels like so much longer. Eventually his mind returns to Gabriel, as always. 

\--

Eons later and the first tones of dawn begin to peek through the blinds. The room bathes openly in golden light, illuminating an incredibly frustrated young cowboy curled up in a ball in the middle of the hard floor. He’s attempted some semblance of a bed there; a blanket tossed haphazardly over himself, a pillow shoved under his head. The change in position was meant to cool him down- Jesse has incorrectly determined that the source of his sleeplessness is that he was too warm in his bunk.

He refuses to stop lying to himself. 

\-- 

“You look like hell.” Gabe is frank as always, stating it like a fact. Jesse thinks it may as well be. He hadn’t even bothered to so much as glance in the mirror as he left his room that morning. 

The two are seated in the cafeteria, Jesse poking at some rubbery scrambled eggs while Gabe downs his coffee. They sit together almost every morning. Nobody questions it- they all think Jesse is too incompetent to be left to his own devices for any given period of time, just because he didn’t come from a fancy training school or active military service like the rest of them. 

The younger man offers a halfhearted shrug in response to his commander’s comment. His white plastic fork sinks into a chunk of egg with a wet noise. Jesse pushes the tray away, disgusted. Gabe looks at him for a long moment. He takes a sip of his coffee. 

“You didn’t sleep again, did you.”

It’s not a question. 

Jesse shakes his head no. 

Gabriel takes another small swallow, then offers the cup to the young agent. “Drink up, McCree.” 

The liquid is warm and bitter on his tongue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to be good about updating this fic for y'all :) There needs to be more fic about these little moments between them.


End file.
